Thursday, October 23, 2008

Waiting for... when?

I'm used to waiting for things. Who isn't? We wait for school to start, for summer vacation to start, or just the end of the day. My job is full of schedules, some appointments are set frequently, other's are 6 months out or more. Christmas, birthdays, even hair appointments and massages (I'm going tomorrow, yay!).

This waiting for some unknown date is starting to get to me though. I have never felt like November 28th is some magic day that I'm waiting for. The chance that the baby will actually come that day is pretty slim (probably less than 20%) so it doesn't hold much security for me. I'm not quite at that moment where I'm feeling 'any day now'... but that's not far off. Probably another 2 or 3 weeks to go before I get that feeling.

It's no surprise that the impending birth and baby is the frequent topic of conversation from close friends and family to near strangers. I wouldn't trade the 'not-knowing' for a date set in concrete (a definite c-section or induction date). Even then, concrete wouldn't be the right analogy, maybe stiff mud. Most of that comes from the fact that I'm very much looking forward to have a natural child birth (laugh if you must), and drugs obviously get in the way of that.

I have been scheduling things for work next month, just assuming I will be the one to make it to all of the appointments. And, I've been making more solid decisions on leave from work, when and how much, and what it will be like when I come 'back' for a short time. So far I would say I've had a pretty typical, text-book pregnancy, and all signs point to a delivery date on or around the 28th of next month. But who knows. And the waiting is killing me.

On second thought, maybe it's the lack of sleep, pains in my back and neck, inability to breathe without sounding like Darth Vader (thanks, Justin), constant heartburn and overall feeling of uncomfortableness that's killing me.

Yeah, it might be that.

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